Sexy Feast: Katsu Burger Will Make You Want to Bend Over Its Knee

katsu_katsu_640_3501Last week, Sexy Feast sized up 8 Oz. Burger Bar, one of the newest entries in Seattle’s burger boom. But the boom isn’t just about traditional burgers. Hajime Sato of Mashiko and sustainable sushi fame recently opened an incredibly popular and delicious new restaurant in Georgetown called Katsu Burger, serving “Japanese style burgers and beyond.” These burgers are prepared katsu style: “dipped in tempura batter, coated in panko bread crumbs, and then deep fried to juicy perfection.”

They’re available in beef, chicken, and tofu varieties, but if you want classic katsu, you have to go pork. I chose the Ninja Deluxe: a pork cutlet with cheddar, bacon, Japanese mayonnaise, and tonkatsu sauce. (All of the burgers come with shredded cabbage, tomatoes, red onion, and pickles.) Add nori fries (seaweed-seasoned) and a green tea milkshake, and you’ve got an amazing East-meets-West fast food meal that’s actually made to order.

So what does Katsu Burger’s Ninja Deluxe burger teach us about sex?

It’s all about the pleasure that results from spanking.

There are some secrets to success when it comes to the quality of a katsu burger. Perhaps most important is to pound the pork cutlet to ensure even thickness (it will look and taste better with even cooking and browning) and to break down the meat’s tough connective tissue. Spanking the meat with just the right pressure can tenderize it, preparing it for pleasure ahead.

It’s the same with sex.

Many people are into spanking, but are not sure how to broach the subject, let alone how to do it correctly. One thought is to suggest it or even do it gently and teasingly, sensing how the other person reacts.

Or you and your loved one can watch Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader in Secretary to see if that scene is a turn-on.

Why do people like spanking? Some like the sense of role-play, imagining boss/secretary and teacher/schoolboy or schoolgirl scenarios. Domination and submission play a part (and you thought you’d never be into BDSM!), with vulnerability building trust. And physically, it’s all about the many nerves which connect to the genital area. (Ever had a butt massage? It can be both relaxing and stimulating.)

So how do you do it? At first, it’s probably best to spank with an open hand, as the hand offers the most control, the spanker can feel the result, and you have a skin-on-skin connection. Get your hand(s) warm. Get the “bad boy” or “bad girl” (the spankee) in a good position: lying across your lap in bed, spread over-the-knee, bent over a chair, or perhaps tied upright against a pole. Spank firmly at the meatiest part of the buttocks, being sure to do this one cheek at a time. Then caress and assess in between strikes, gauging your partner’s reaction. Sound is part of the eroticism; as always, everything contributes to the arousal and gratification.

As you become more experienced, you can move on to tools like a paddle, riding crop, whip–and perhaps even some sophisticated ninja devices. Or maybe even a meat mallet, like the ones that ultimately provide so much pleasure at Katsu Burger.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on February 2, 2012.



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