Dish: Thukpa Place: The Everest Kitchen, Lake Forest Park Price: $7.95
In the bowl: From the menu: “Noodle soup with chicken or vegetables, peas and herbs.” Clarification coming, below.
Supporting cast/What to do: You can choose between chicken or vegetables. The latter will be one dollar less than the price above. Your server will ask your desired spice level, from one to five.
Noodling around: The Everest Kitchen serves “foods from the top of the world”–specifically India, Nepal, and Tibet. I know where those countries are, but I’m not really sure where The Everest Kitchen is located. The official address says Seattle, but some references show Shoreline. Two things are for sure: It’s on Bothell Way, north of Lake City. And it’s across from a Déjà Vu gentlemen’s club.
When the showgirls get hungry, thukpa could be a perfect meal for them. The server might not be able to describe the dish due to limited English, but I’ll try my best.
This is no ordinary soup. While I’ve heard of thukpas with clear broth, this one is red in color, and bold in flavor. I eventually spoke with the owner about the seasoning, and he said the flavor comes from onion, ginger, garlic, fenugreek, and something he called “corn pepper.” He explained that while you can find this pepper, which looks like black pepper (perhaps it’s simply peppercorn?), in the International District, it will have no flavor. Better to get it directly, harvested from the jungles of Nepal.
There are nice pieces of dark meat chicken in the soup, but none of the promised peas. That was actually okay with me. Instead, I enjoyed green and red bell peppers, red onions, cabbage, and cilantro.
No one could explain the type of noodles. Best I could determine, they are dried, spaghetti-like noodles, cooked to a soft texture in the soup.
If you want more: One can easily make the case for momos (Tibetan dumplings) to accompany the soup, and that wouldn’t be a bad choice. Same for some naan, of which Everest Kitchen serves a number of varieties. But I’m going to recommend the saag paneer ($9.95). Like the other dishes I tried, this seemed to be made to order–a nice portion of lightly steamed spinach in light cream with homemade (paneer) cheese and some assertive spices. It’s perfect with basmati rice, or some of that naan.
Be aware/beware: Lunch service is buffet style. While this makes for a fast meal and enables you to taste more items, I highly recommend ordering off the menu for the freshest food. Despite my server’s lack of English, service was appropriately attentive. When the owner learned that we ordered goat curry, he warned that it would take about 45 minutes to cook, and asked if we still wanted it. We did, and found it a little tough, whereas more time would have made it more tender. But that was the only mishap of my meal.
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 30, 2012.
On the heels of my return from Tokyo, where I restrained myself in only eating four bowls of ramen in eight days, I’m excited to see Seattle’s ramen scene on the rise. We’re not likely to see certain items like niboshi (dried sardine) broth in the near future, but we’re lucky to have a lot of options, as I documented last year in Northwest Palate and IBUKI.
And now Bo Ramen hits the scene, starting this week. At the helm is Bo Maisano, who’s been fine-tuning ramen recipes for many months. (Disclosure: I’ve been part of his test panel, seeing and tasting the evolution of his ramen, though I’ve yet to try the latest incarnations.) Ahead of his first ramen pop-up on May 1, I had a chance to talk with Bo about his newfound passion.
How might Seattleites know you from pre-ramen days?
I opened The Tin Table in Capitol Hill most recently, spent time in Madison Park Cafe doing country French, and ran 1200 Bistro back in 2007.
How did you get hooked on ramen?
I read about ramen in Lucky Peach magazine and made it. It was amazing to me. Fresh noodles, fresh broth, and new additions—and I was hooked. I then went out to Boom Noodle and Samurai Noodle to check out their bowls and it only furthered my obsession.
What draws you to cooking ramen?
The pursuit of the perfect bowl. I love each part of the bowl: noodles, broth, pork and add-ons. Each has its part in the whole, and it all has to balance.
How have you been learning the process? What resources have you tapped into?
Making many bowls and having experienced ramen friends guiding my path. I still search books, online recipes and blogs looking for a new spin or technique.
What’s the hardest challenge in preparing ramen?
Consistency as I continually perfect my method. The noodles have been a real learning experience. Learning the ingredients in the Asian markets has been a lot of fun also. This ramen path has been a real humbling experience, steering me out of my comfort zone. It’s very invigorating.
How do you see yourself putting your own spin on ramen?
I’d like to figure out how to add in some different ingredients and cooking styles (tapping into my New Orleans roots) without breaking the integrity of the bowl.
Any favorite ramen bowls/places you’ve found in Seattle? What’s your favorite type of ramen?
I am a fan of Boom and Samurai, as well as Boke Bowl in Portland. I really feel I should get around more. So far, my favorite bowl is shoyu because I like the soy saltiness, stock sweetness, noodle creaminess, and fatty mouthfeel.
How are your slurping skills?
They are okay. It’s not a skill that was ingrained in youth. It is the best way to eat/taste the broth. I’m still new and getting better at it.
What would you like a diner’s experience at Bo Ramen to be like?
A good one, hopefully. I feel I am serving up a decent ramen and want to share that with many of my friends who are new to this beautiful meal in a bowl. I am serving a traditional shoyu ramen bowl and a user-friendly miso bowl that include both a seafood version and a vegetarian version. I am working on other add-ons, like braised belly and shredded smoked shoulder. I have yam noodles for the gluten-free folks also. I have to start small so that I don’t overextend myself.
What do you see as the future of Bo Ramen?
I hope these pop-ups are a success as I would like to open a brick-and-mortar location. I have a tonkotsu bowl that I will feature later, and there are a number of summer noodle bowls that I’d like to do as well. I’ll also do gyoza, and buns filled with braised belly and pickled vegetables. Those buns are something special that I could eat everyday along with a great bowl of noodles.
Bo Ramen debuts at Skelly and the Bean on May 1 and 8 from 5:30 pm to 9:00 pm. Walk-ins are welcome as long as supply lasts, or you can pre-purchase a bowl of shoyu, miso shrimp, or miso veggie ramen. You can also try the ramen at Geraldine’s Counter on May 5 and 19 from 5:30 pm to 9:00 pm, either by walk-in or reservation via the GC website. And get the latest about Bo Ramen via Facebook or Twitter.
Racing around to Portland restaurants has become an annual June ritual of late, but with a rare Rothko exhibit in town until May, my partner and I were rarin’ to go to the Rose City sooner than usual this year.
Outings to the Portland Art Museum, the Lan Su Chinese Garden, and OMSI would provide immense stimulation for the eyes, while visits to bakeries, coffee shops, and restaurants around town would again prove to be a feast for all the senses.
Rothko and Other Sites in the Rose City
Marcus Rothkowitz was born in Russian-controlled Dvinsk (now Daugavpils, Latvia) in 1903. Fleeing Czarist Russia, his father and eventually two brothers emigrated to the United States, settling in Portland. Marcus, along with his mother and his sister, came to the U.S. in 1913. Rothko would eventually graduate from Portland’s Lincoln High School, move to New York and become an artist, and have his first solo show in 1933—at the Portland Art Museum.
(Right: Marcus Rothkowitz turned Mark Rothko, self-portrait, courtesy of Portland Art Museum.)
Now, nearly 80 years later, the Portland Art Museum is hosting an exhibition of 45 of Mark Rothko’s paintings, dating from the late 1920’s (including some early figurative works) to shortly before his death in 1970. One of America’s foremost artists of the twentieth century, he was typically described (much to his dismay) as an abstract expressionist. Standing before some of the large canvases, it’s hard to not be drawn in to the bold colors and the emotions that lie beneath them.
The Rothko exhibit will be at the Portland Art Museum until May 27. If you wait until the last-minute, you can also catch the start of the Portland Rose Festival.
We were too early to enjoy the glory of the International Rose Test Garden, but we did visit the Lan Su Chinese Garden, which is an oasis of tranquility inside the city. If you have time, you might choose to take tea here, overlooking the pavilion and the lake.
And for childhood fun, we went to OMSI: the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry. Here we watched Born to Be Wild, an IMAX movie about orphaned orangutans and elephants, and the extraordinary people who rescue and raise them. We also enjoyed a tour of the USS Blueback submarine, the U.S. Navy’s last non-nuclear, fast-attack submarine. The submarine was featured in The Hunt for Red October, and a tour is more fascinating than expected in learning about the seamen’s life below the sea. (Tough conditions, but the food was actually pretty good, according to the guide.) Other highlights at OMSI were an interactive wellness exhibit and an intriguing LEGO art gallery.
Restaurants Provide a Feeding Frenzy in Portland
(Note: Check the gallery, below, for lots of food photos.)
The ever-increasing number of quality restaurants always makes Portland a culinary destination. Seattle’s great, no doubt. But our southern neighbor has been on the rise. In fact, for two years running, Portland has outscored Seattle in the number of nominations for James Beard Foundation Best Chef: Northwest Award.
One of the chefs is Chris Israel of Gruner, where I took a solo meal. I was struggling with order options, watching what was coming to other tables. Some portions looked small, so based on my server’s recommendation, I went with the much-talked about Gruner burger. This big boy exploded like a Mount Hood eruption, juices almost hitting the people at the adjoining table. Good flavor in the house-ground beef, though overall the burger was just a little too salty for my taste—perhaps due to the otherwise delicious Nueske bacon. The Fontina cheese was a nice addition. And I liked the fried smashed potatoes (and homemade ketchup) on the side, though three seemed just a little skimpy.
Another of Portland’s Beard-nominated chefs is Cathy Whims. Based on past experience, I knew that Nostrana is a fabulous place for Italian food, so I decided to try her new Oven & Shaker. It’s a fairly simple concept made even simpler at happy hour, when you can enjoy low-priced pizzas. How about a Nostrana salad (love the radicchio) with a Margherita pizza ($7) and one with bosc pear, taleggio, speck, and leeks? The pizzas are cracker thin, so they’re not as filling as they look. Tasty and with interesting topping options, though I recall liking the pizzas at Nostrana even better. Still, a great spot and so close to Powell’s.
Incidentally, Naomi Pomeroy is the other Portland Beard nominee. I enjoyed a meal at her restaurant, Beast, during a previous visit. The same with Le Pigeon, whose chef, Gabriel Rucker, was last year’s national winner for the James Beard Rising Star Chef of the Year. This time I checked out his new restaurant: Little Bird. It’s more of a quintessential French bistro—and it’s extremely popular, so reservations are highly recommended. My food was fabulous, particularly my porcini and black garlic soup with sage pesto, and a charcuterie plate highlighted by foie gras brulee. Amazing. So many chefs and food lovers I met in Portland rave about this charcuterie plate, and Little Bird in general.
Staying with the bird theme, another meal was at Aviary, which suffered from a kitchen fire last year but is back in business. Even with a reservation, the wait was long, but that helped me build up my appetite. The food was pretty solid, full of interesting flavor combinations—often with Asian influences. I enjoyed hamachi tartare, chestnut soup, zucchini charlotte, four cup chicken, and my favorite dish of the night: crispy pig ear with coconut rice, Chinese sausage, and avocado. This dish had lots of interesting flavors and textures. I’d like to replicate it at home, though I’d probably use regular rice instead of coconut rice for less sweetness.
I managed to save just a little stomach space for ice cream at Salt & Straw, just down the block from Aviary. Their line was long pre-dinner, and it only got worse as the night wore on, winding around the corner at the eleven o’clock hour. But I waited and was rewarded with scoops of pear with blue cheese, and honey balsamic strawberry with cracked pepper. This was some of the best ice cream I’ve had in ages. (Yes, I sampled their famous bone marrow and smoked cherry ice cream, but I’ll take my bone marrow straight out of the bone with parsley, thank you.)
After Oven & Shaker and Salt & Straw, it made sense to make one other “ampersanded” stop: Beaker & Flask. This late night stop offers even more fabulous food, accompanied by fascinating drinks. I enjoyed my Salt & Pepper—with gin, Peychaud’s bitters, grapefruit, lime and salted rim—and noshed on three dishes: (1) pork cheeks with braised peppers and onions, pickled octopus, and aioli, (2) fried chicken livers with radicchio, Brussels sprouts, squash, chestnut cream, and sherry gastrique, and (3) roasted cauliflower with candied hazelnuts, Calabrian chiles, and parmesan broth. That parmesan broth was packed with flavor, and my favorite dish of the group.
Late nights with drinks mean mornings with coffee, and what better place than Coava? The setting is special, the beans are the best (and always changing, depending on supply), and the workers know what they’re doing. I tried a drip coffee (La Guachoca, from El Salvador, strong with caramel and cacao notes) from their metal filter, as well as an Americano (San Rafael, from Guatemala, more fruity). Afterward, I sent a Seattle friend who’s a finicky coffee drinker, and he’s already addicted, now ordering Coava’s beans by mail. Many people say this is the best coffee in Portland, and their awards just might prove it.
At Coava, I had a Nuvrei croissant. It was flaky, but a little soft and airy. (Maybe it wasn’t as fresh as it should have been, delivered and sitting in the case?) Far better was the almond croissant with chocolate that I got right at the Nuvrei bakery. I also tried a croissant from Little T American Baker, which was crispy on the outside, but not quite flaky or buttery enough. Better here was the kouign amman. And best was the chocolate doughnut, which the worker recommended as the best bite for anyone who likes chocolate.
I ate that doughnut right after a brunch nibble at Mi Mero Mole—the new Mexican restaurant by Nick Zukin of the beloved Kenny & Zuke’s, where I’ve had a pastrami and chopped liver sandwich in the past. At Mi Mero Mole, after much contemplation (and dismay that menudo was off the menu), I settled on a quesadilla of lengua en mole Coca Cola. The quesadilla was well-prepared, and “light” enough for me to enjoy the lengua filling, but the mole was just a touch too sweet. The worker appreciated the feedback, saying the mole is a work-in-progress. Mi Mero Mole es muy interesante, and worth watching.
For a bigger brunch one day, I went to Accanto. It’s a pleasant, cheery space for a daylight meal. Nettle soup was a good starter, followed by tripe alla Romagna with poached eggs and my favorite dish of the meal: duck hash with root vegetables, broccolini, and more poached eggs. The root vegetables were cooked just right, each bite providing a slightly different burst of flavor.
One final meal to discuss: dinner at St. Jack. This corner restaurant is extremely cozy, especially the two-top in the front window. (It was a little weird to watch the workers sit on the sidewalk smoking toward the end of the night.) It’s another Portland restaurant serving solid food, from a perfectly cooked mackerel salad starter to fried tripe with caper and red onion mayonnaise to a very rich and delicious fisherman’s stew (the trout roe in the stew completes the dish). Best of the night, though, was the Lyonnaise onion tart, with caramelized onions, leeks, and goat cheese—topped with a poached egg. The sweetness of those caramelized onions could have almost qualified this as dessert, but since the restaurant is a patisserie by day, I saved space for a fun coconut gateau with meyer lemon curd, coconut, tarragon sorbet, and blood orange supremes.
Oh…and to go? Next to Little Bird is Bunk, where I asked for a road-worthy sandwich, concerned about durability and perishability. My muffaletta was massive (see the coin for scale in the photo gallery, below), making my next leg of my trip a stomach-filled one—much like my entire time in Portland.
Now, if you’re wondering, after all my trips to Portland, what are my top recommendations? I’d say Broder for breakfast, Coava for coffee, Lardo (combined with The Sugar Cube) for decadent eats, Biwa for ramen and more, Tanuki for amazing non-sushi omakase (and crazy experience), and Little Bird or Le Pigeon for great dinner. Maybe HA+VL for Vietnamese soup if fighting a hangover. Hmm…that would be an amazing 24 hours of eating!
Rest at the Hilton Portland & Executive Tower
Featuring another ampersand, the Hilton Portland & Executive Tower consists of two buildings diagonally across from each other: the Hilton Portland main building with 455 guest rooms and suites, and the Hilton Portland Executive Tower with 327 boutique-style guest rooms. The Executive Tower (pictured, right, photo courtesy of Hilton Portland & Executive Tower) would be our base for stay, providing comfort and convenience. It’s an easy and free ride from the Amtrak station to the hotel (we actually walked it in about 15 minutes) using MAX Light Rail, which also provides easy 45-minute ride to the airport for $2.40. There’s no need for a car in Portland, as it’s a very walkable city, with public transportation easy to negotiate for more distant places. And just steps from the Hilton you’ll find the Portland Art Museum, Pioneer Place Shopping Mall, food carts, and plenty of restaurants.
If you don’t want to go out, there’s a restaurant in each of the Hilton buildings. Porto Terra Tuscan Grill & Bar is in the Hilton Executive Tower, while Hilton Portland is home of Bistro 921. In fact, Bistro 921 is where I was introduced to Hilton’s new national breakfast menu. Check here for photos and description of some of those dishes, as well as a few of the lunch offerings at Porto Terra.
Welcome to the Rothko exhibit!
Rothko, Untitled (photo courtesy of Portland Art Museum)
Contrast at the Lan Su Chinese Garden
USS Blueback submarine at OMSI
The kitchen on the USS Blueback
An example of the fascinating LEGO art at OMSI
The groaning Gruner burger…beware the volcanic eruption!
Inside Oven & Shaker
Nostrana salad at Oven & Shaker
Oven & Shaker’s margherita pizza
Oven & Shaker’s pizza with bosc pear, taleggio, speck, and leeks
Porcini and black garlic soup with sage pesto at Little Bird
Little Bird’s charcuterie plate: At 12:00 is chicken liver mousse, to the right is pork rillette, then smoked pork tenderloin, next crispy trotter croquette, and finally an amazing foie gras brulee with apricot-Sauternes jam
Aviary’s hamachi tartare with scallion, fuji apple, and mentaiko
Aviary’s chestnut soup with crème fraiche, brussels sprouts, and bottarga
Aviary’s zucchini charlotte with green beans, oil-cured olives, smoked tomato consomme
Inside Aviary’s zucchini charlotte
Aviary’s four cup chicken with taro root, dried apricot and truffle, and wood ear mushrooms
Aviary’s crispy pig ear with coconut rice, chinese sausage, and avocado (fascinating!)
Salt & Straw ice cream: honey balsamic strawberry with cracked pepper on the left, pear with blue cheese on the right
Get in the spirit at Beaker and Flask (photo courtesy of Torsten Kjellstrand/Travel Portland)
Beaker & Flask’s pork cheeks with braised peppers and onions, pickled octopus, and aioli
Beaker & Flask’s fried chicken livers with radicchio, Brussels sprouts, squash, chestnut cream, and sherry gastrique
Beaker & Flask’s roasted cauliflower with candied hazelnuts, Calabrian chiles, and parmasean broth
Drip coffee service at Coava
A beautiful breakfast pairing at Coava (croissant from Nuvrei)
Inside Nuvrei’s croissant
Almond croissant with chocolate at Nuvrei
Croissant and kouign amman at Little T American Baker
Inside Little T’s croissant
Chocolate doughnut decadence from Little T
Mi Mero Mole’s quesadilla of lengua en mole Coca Cola
Inside Mi Mero Mole’s quesadilla
Accanto’s nettle soup
Accanto’s tripe alla Romagna with poached eggs
Accanto’s duck hash with root vegetables, broccolini, and poached eggs
St. Jack’s mackerel salad starter
St. Jack’s fried tripe with caper and red onion mayonnaise
St. Jack’s fisherman’s stew with scallops, oysters, clams, trout roe, and leeks
St. Jack’s Lyonnaise onion tart, with caramelized onions, leeks, and goat cheese—topped with a poached egg
St. Jack’s coconut gateau with meyer lemon curd, coconut, tarragon sorbet, and blood orange supremes
I’m endlessly asked to recommend the best sushi restaurant in Seattle. Along with Sushi Kappo Tamura (featured in a previous Sexy Feast about head), I heartily recommend Kisaku in Tangletown. The fish is fabulous, there’s a neighborhood feeling, and the quality to price is probably the best in the Seattle area. My favorite item is the delicious hotate kombu jime (kelp-marinated scallop). Place that order, and Chef Nakano will think I sent you!
Even better, order omakase, putting yourself in the hands of the chef. If you’re lucky, Nakano-san will serve you shirako. This cod milt is a delicacy; the lobe-like pieces have a creamy, custardy texture like oceanic sweetbreads or brains, but even better. While some like their shirako tempura-ed, I prefer mine with a little ponzu sauce, which adds a slight punch of citrusy tanginess.
So what does Kisaku’s shirako teach us about sex?
It’s all about understanding and enjoying sperm.
Shirako means “white children” in Japanese. Indeed, milt is the seminal fluid of fish, in this case cod. (Stay with me…it’s still a delicacy.) We’re talking sperm sac. We’re talking semen.
Note: It doesn’t “make” you anything if you eat and enjoy shirako. And what’s not to like? It melts in your mouth, like buttah.
Now I’m not saying we should be eating the “white children” of humans, though if you believe in the book Natural Harvest, there’s great potential in that possibility:
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen.
We shouldn’t be freaked out about semen. Since it’s such a misunderstood thing, here are some facts:
The average ejaculate varies in size, but figure an average of about one teaspoon of semen.
About 90 percent of semen is water, with the rest other nutrients (enzymes, vitamins, minerals, etc.).
Sperm is only a small component of what’s in semen.
Unejaculated sperm are absorbed back into the body.
Ejaculation averages a distance of seven to ten inches, but can be three feet or more.
Average speed at ejaculation can reach about 30 miles per hour–but sperm have no sense of direction (and don’t stop to ask directions).
Sperm can live up to five days inside a woman’s body–think about that in terms of pregnancy risk.
Healthy men produce 70-150 million sperm per day.
A healthy diet contributes to a high sperm count, as does exercise, sleep, and avoiding tobacco and alcohol.
A man’s diet can affect the flavor or his semen. Watch out for asparagus.
As for the last point, you might consider eating kiwi or pineapple to sweeten your bodily fluids. Or, thinking back to Kisaku, maybe ponzu is a good idea.
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 19, 2012.
Dish: “Salted fish w/chicken in vermicelli & rice sticker” Place: LA Café, International District Price: $8.99
On the plate: Two types of noodles, which require a close inspection to see. Onions, green onions, carrots, bean sprouts. Shrimp, which are presumably not the intended salted fish, with the chicken missing in action.
Supporting cast/What to do: There’s soy sauce and chili sauce around if you need it. But there might not be a server around if you need one. And you’ll likely need one.
Noodling around: I originally placed my order for “needle noodles,” as these rat’s tail-like rice noodles are relatively hard to find in Seattle. The server was very excited, saying they’re a house specialty, but just as the first dishes were about to arrive, she said they were unavailable.
The vermicelli and rice sticker combination was therefore my second choice, even though I didn’t know what “rice sticker” was. The server said it’s similar to vermicelli, but thicker. Or did she say sticker? Or stickier? Even after repeating, I was still unsure. Nevertheless, two types of noodles in one dish appealed to me.
As did salted fish.
When the dish arrived, it looks like a mass of vermicelli noodles. Only after closer inspection did I notice a somewhat clearer noodle intertwined with the rice ones. They looked almost like thin glass noodles, though the server had said something about tapioca starch. Both noodles were delicate, with a very mild soy sauce flavor. The noodle action was interrupted by occasional bits of carrot, yellow and green onion, and bean sprouts.
But, sadly, no salted fish or chicken. Just shrimp. At that point in the meal, we had stopped questioning, and just kept eating. Plus, our server had disappeared.
If she had been around, we would have asked her what filling was inside the pot stickers. It was impossible to discern whether the meat was chicken or pork. Regardless, the pot stickers were poorly constructed and cooked. In the words of one of my dining companions, “These are the worst pot stickers I’ve ever had.”
In fact, the whole meal was bland. Hong Kong-style is typically Cantonese, though with other influences–including other types of Chinese, and Western. I often find Cantonese food bland, but LA Café’s was exceedingly so. You might want to scour the menu and roll the dice on something different. Club sandwich, anyone?
If you want more: Given the state of the pot stickers, I’m not sure what else I’d recommend. Maybe try for the French fries ($2.99) or the French toast ($3.49).
Be aware/beware: LA Café in inside the Pacific Rim Center, a destination that has always felt a bit depressing. If you want some stimulation, though, I’ve heard good things about the foot massage place. No needles there, either, but reasonable rates and strong service.
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 23, 2012.
What I miss from New York: choices of subway lines, reliably aggressive driving, and attitude. Food-wise, I miss pizza, bagels, and bialys. And good delis. Oh, we have some amazing sandwich shops in Seattle, like Paseo and Salumi. But I’d gladly trade a few of our fabulous Vietnamese delis doing cheap and delicious banh mi sandwiches for a few New York-style corner delis.
Roxy’s Diner in Fremont claims to be a New York Jewish-style diner that’s “real eastcoast on the westcoast.” So I went in recently for a hot pastrami sandwich on rye. It comes with mustard, a choice of sides, and a pickle. The meat, not exactly piled high, was okay, while the bread was soft and falling apart. Still, it satisfied this New Yorker’s cravings.
So what does Roxy Diner’s hot pastrami sandwich teach us about sex?
It’s all about incorporating food into your sex life.
Pastrami sandwich (Roxy Diner’s URL, by the way) is what ruins one of George “The Fornicating Gourmet” Costanza’s relationships during the “The Blood” episode in the final season of Seinfeld. (”I got greedy,” he says, adding, “Flew too close to the sun on the wings of pastrami.”) Distracted by food, he wants to incorporate it into his lovemaking, telling girlfriend Tara that he’s brought strawberries, chocolate sauce, pastrami on rye with mustard, and honey to the bedroom. When Tara questions the pastrami, he says it was featured in a scene in 9-1/2 Weeks–or maybe Ghostbusters.
Her disdain that he’s eating a sandwich stashed in a nightstand (and also trying to watch television) while having sex leads to this exchange at Monk’s Café:
Jerry: Didn’t go for it, huh?
George: No.
Jerry: So, she didn’t appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats?
George: She tolerated the strawberries and the chocolate sauce, but eh, it’s not a meal, you know? Food and sex, those are my two passions. It’s only natural to combine them.
Jerry: Natural? Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich.
George: Jerry, I’m not suggesting getting rid of the girl. She’s integral.
Jerry: Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs, how about satisfying one of somebody else’s?
Jerry ultimately scolds George for combining food and sex into one disgusting, uncontrollable urge.
Actually, though, you can incorporate food into your sex life–if both you and your partner find it stimulating. (Or, if you’re going solo: think American Pie and Portnoy’s Complaint.) Some ideas:
Enjoy the sensuality of a good meal, perhaps taking the food off the kitchen table and into the bedroom.
Eat a mango, then use the mango skin for massage. (And note the convenience of other fruits and vegetables being phallic-shaped.)
Blindfold each other and do tastings. This builds trust and erotic suspense.
Mimic nyotaimori: sushi on the naked body.
Ask where to pipe whipped cream for the other person to lick off. (George did have it right with chocolate sauce and honey.)
Use Altoids for extra tingle during fellatio. (Or play with temperature, alternating hot and cold drinks in the mouth.)
These are just a few ideas. Consider them appetizers.
Remember: Oil in the genital area can break down latex if using protection, while sugar can bring about growth of yeast and bacteria. Towels, napkins, and extra sheets might come in handy with your culinary play. And, yes, you might want to keep a pastrami sandwich in your nightstand drawer to provide extra energy for second and third “courses.”
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 26, 2012.
Last month I stayed at the Hilton Portland & Executive Tower Club, as mentioned in this fuller piece about my fuller Portland experience.
When I’m on the lecture circuit (i.e., business travel), I’m loyal to the Hilton family of hotels. My number of stays earns enough points to enjoy a fairly lengthy stay at the Tokyo Hilton when I make my visits to Japan. In Tokyo, breakfast in the Executive Lounge means miso soup, onsen tamago, natto, rice, and much more as part of a traditional Japanese breakfast. (I seem to be the only Caucasian eating all of that food, as the others are doing doughnuts, cereal, bread, etc. from the Western breakfast buffet.)
Here in the United States, Hilton is unveiling an updated breakfast menu, and I was lucky to get a sneak peek just last month at Bistro 921, one of the property’s two restaurants:
Eggs Bennie: two poached eggs and shaved ham on a savory bread pudding with hollandaise sauce (the “overnight tomato,” marinated in balsamic and herbs, was especially delicious)
Vegetable Frittata: egg-white or eggs with grilled onions, roasted peppers and goat cheese served with side of red bliss potatoes, asparagus, oven-fired tomatoes, and green tomatillo sauce
Rum Raisin French Toast: brioche raisin bread topped with rum raisin sauce, garnished with cinnamon whipped cream (a fun dish for French toast lovers)
Lemony Griddle Cake: blueberry compote, powdered sugar, and garnished with candied lemon zest
Fresh Fruit Plate: fresh seasonal fruit tossed in lime-scented honey, served with banana nut bread
Steel Cut Oatmeal: served with raisins and brown sugar (fun, modern presentation!)
Tiramisu: marsala & espresso ladyfingers, mascarpone, chocolate, seasonal fruit
A look inside Porto Terra (Photo courtesy of Hilton Portland & Executive Tower)
For those who don’t want to go out and explore Portland’s culinary scene, the culinary scene comes to you with convenience in either of the hotel’s restaurants.
Dish: Cheng Du Dan Dan Noodle Place: Bamboo Garden, Bellevue Price: $6.95
In the bowl: You’ll see slightly yellowish egg noodles topped with little bits of ground pork and thin slices of green onion. The chili sauce is at the bottom of the bowl.
Supporting cast/What to do: It’s all there, in the bowl. What’s important is to mix as soon and thoroughly as possible before the noodles harden and congeal, as the sauce will have settled to the bottom of the bowl. And I do mean thorough. There’s not a lot of meat and sauce, so you’ll want to go for good distribution.
Noodling around: There are many recipes for dan dan noodles. Even Fuchsia Dunlop’s Sichuanese cookbook, Land of Plenty, has two versions–one made with pork, the other with beef. I much prefer pork, just as Bamboo Garden serves the noodles.
But unlike Dunlop’s, Bamboo Garden’s dan dan noodles are rather simple. The server explained that the only ingredients are the noodles, pork, green onions, and chili oil. I suspect there might be a little more to the chili sauce, and thought I detected a slightly gritty texture to the noodles (which made me wonder if there was perhaps a little sesame paste), but the sauce wasn’t terribly complex, and I didn’t find any preserved vegetables, peanuts, or other typical ingredients to the dish.
The noodles themselves were good, with good taste and texture. Dan dan is a dish I make frequently at home, and I’m always trying them with different types of noodles, including egg.
What you can always count on at Bamboo Garden is heat, and this dish has it. Lots of la, or spice, but in this case no ma, which is the numbness that comes from Sichuan peppercorns.
If you want more: Go for one of the cold appetizers, like the sour and spicy jellyfish ($6.95), rabbit chunks in chili oil ($8.95) if you’re seeking more meat, or fava beans in chili oil ($5.95). Note, yes, that they all are spicy, as most of the cold appetizers have chili oil or chili sauce. If that’s too much heat, then maybe get a watermelon smoothie ($3.25) to cool down your mouth.
Be aware/beware: Do not get this place mixed up with Bamboo Garden in Queen Anne. The Queen Anne restaurant is vegetarian, and while I did enjoy my noodle dish there last week and my vegetarian experience at Araya’s the week before, my heart is with restaurants that serve things like, well, heart. Bellevue’s Bamboo Garden has a “Take a Walk on Wild Side” menu that contains a lot of the dishes–the good stuff–that you’d normally find only on the Chinese menu. I like that Bamboo Garden encourages diners to experiment and try a new dish or two as part of the dining experience. On this menu, you’ll find some of my favorites, like Swimming Fire Fish, Sliced Pork Kidneys in a Tangy Broth, and The Other Parts of a Pig.
In case you’re working, dan is Chinese for a bamboo shoulder pole. Dan dan noodles was once the classic street food of Chengdu, with workers essentially carrying their kitchens on the poles while calling out “dan dan mian” to attract customers.
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 16, 2012.
Koral Bar & Kitchen in Bellevue calls itself a “New American Kitchen,” serving regional American cuisine–comfort food favorites and a few upscale dishes–in an atmosphere more casual than sister restaurant Pearl. After trying pan-fried trout, roasted beets with arugula, tuna crudo, Penn Cove mussels, roasted marrow bones, and Koral’s nod to Tai Tung pot stickers, my dining companion and I felt sufficiently stuffed.
Still, the server talked us into dessert, and given the menu items, we thought the “chocolate mousse for two” would be a light choice. Imagine our surprise to receive a mixing bowl containing a rather thick chocolate “batter” alongside fresh whipped cream. And two brightly colored spatulas awaiting action. What a whimsical way to serve something at a restaurant!
So what does Koral’s chocolate mousse for two teach us about sex?
It’s all about different ways to say “I love you.”
Seeing those spatulas reminded me of UHF, the 1989 film written by and starring Weird Al Yankovic. Perhaps you remember the ad for the Spatula City store. It’s a “giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion.” One of those occasions: A romantic dinner, a man courting a woman, and the narrator asking, “What better way to say ‘I love you’ than with a gift of a spatula?”
I’m not necessarily endorsing spatulas themselves as gifts of love. But at Koral, they’re certainly a tool for expressing love, both emotional and physical.
If you order that chocolate mousse dessert, the two of you will have to negotiate your needs and desires when using those spatulas. And that’s all about emoting and communicating. Don’t just dive into the bowl, using the spatula to spread and stir as you alone please. Talk with your partner about what you both like. While one of you might want an integrated mixture of chocolate and cream, the other might want to enjoy the unique tastes of each individually. And those desires, for the two of you, might change over time. Discuss I always say that love is verbal as well as physical.
Meanwhile, the sight of those spatulas might stir up physical desires as well. If you recall the Sexy Feast column about Katsu Burger, it was all about spanking. I wrote about hand-spanking as entry-level, and then the use of objects like paddles, riding crops, and whips for the more experienced. Well… what’s a spatula if not a light spanking tool? As part of the verbal negotiation about your sex life, you’ll want to discuss things like the type of sex you want to engage in, as well as when and where you want to do it. Since spatulas scream kitchen, you might feel inspired for a change of venue, with meal time a perfect time to satisfy carnal cravings.
So, what’s love got to do with it? At Koral, that chocolate might be the aphrodisiac, but the spatulas are the tools to take your relationship to a higher, more pleasurable level.
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 12, 2012.
Dish: Gourmet Chow Mein (Lo Mein) Place: Bamboo Garden, Queen Anne Price: $8.95
On the plate: Per the menu: “pan-fried thin noodles with mixed vegetables, sausage, and chicken.” That description will warrant further explanation.
Supporting cast/What to do: Dig in. There’s no option for spice level when ordering. You’ll find chili sauce on the table, but as much as I like heat, I don’t see this as a dish that needs to be made spicy. Enjoy the noodles as they are, getting some “meat” and/or vegetables in each chopstick pull.
Noodling around: Much like Christmas, I find Easter to be an ideal day to go to a Chinese restaurant. And since it was also Passover weekend (and I’d just written about Japanese food and kosher sex), I was intrigued by the idea of a Chinese restaurant that keeps kosher–certified by Va’ad HaRabanim of Greater Seattle. A place where “only the fortune cookies contain eggs.”
Bamboo Garden shares a gentle evangelism with Araya’s. The first thing I noticed was a sign that read, “If animals could speak we would all be vegetarians.”
The sausage and chicken in my noodle dish? Vegetable protein products. (Basically soy, the server said.) With the oil being 100% vegetable, the menu claims that the dishes have no cholesterol.
I must say that I missed the textures of real meat, especially the lesser-loved cuts like tripe and intestines. (I’ll get to that next week when I report on the area’s other Bamboo Garden.) But while the chicken was bland and the sausage had just some seasoning to it, I really liked the dish overall. In comparison to the ten ingredient sautéed rice thread noodles which bored me at the nearby Uptown China, these noodles were bursting with flavor.
Contributing well were the vegetables: onion, carrot, bean sprouts, snow peas, celery, and napa cabbage. Good balance, with nothing dominating.
The dish reminded me of the take-out lo mein of my younger days–though that had the bright red roast pork that I’d much prefer over any of these fake meats. And lo mein it is. I’m not sure why they call it chow mein; chow means fried, with the noodles cooked crispy and usually topped with choice of ingredients and sauce. Lo means tossed or mixed. The thin wheat noodles (usually fresh, and usually containing egg–which means there might be eggs in more than just the fortune cookies at Bamboo Garden) are parboiled and then stir-fried in a wok with the other ingredients. They develop a pleasing texture and absorb the sauce, in this case adding soy sauce flavor.
My dining companion and I also tried pan-fried rice noodles with mixed vegetables in hot spicy Szechwan sauce (chow fun). We decided to skip the fake meat with hope of getting a larger quantity of real vegetables. We also wanted to enjoy wide rice noodles, which really soak up the starchy sauce (speckled with fake ground beef–or was that pork?), and to see if Bamboo Garden would deliver on heat–which it did when we requested five on the 1-5 spice scale.
If you want more: The appetizers are virtually all fried (the only exception: you can opt to have your potstickers steamed), so I’d look to the soup menu, perhaps trying the deluxe kernel corn soup ($3.95 for a pint) or the creamy corn chowder (an additional nickel at $4.00 for a pint) for something different.
Be aware/beware: Again, this is a vegetarian restaurant, so keep that in mind. The shark fin is not shark fin, and the eel is not eel–which may be good things, given sustainable seafood issues. On the other hand, I would hesitate to try something like General Tso’s chicken (or one of the more authentic chicken dishes), as I just can’t imagine a pleasing texture.
A couple of pluses: There’s a dedicated room for private dining, perfect for a party of 10. And as a bonus in busy lower Queen Anne, Bamboo Garden has its own private parking lot. The restaurant actually runs cameras on the lot and monitors activity at the cashier stand.
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 9, 2012.
Dish: Thukpa
On the heels of my return from Tokyo
Rothko and Other Sites in the Rose City
Another of Portland’s Beard-nominated chefs is Cathy Whims. 
Staying with the bird theme, another meal was at Aviary, which suffered from a kitchen fire last year but is back in business. Even with a reservation, the wait was long, but that helped me build up my appetite. The food was pretty solid, full of interesting flavor combinations—often with Asian influences. I enjoyed hamachi tartare, chestnut soup, zucchini charlotte, four cup chicken, and my favorite dish of the night: crispy pig ear with coconut rice, Chinese sausage, and avocado. This dish had lots of interesting flavors and textures. I’d like to replicate it at home, though I’d probably use regular rice instead of coconut rice for less sweetness.
Late nights with drinks mean mornings with coffee, and what better place than Coava? The setting is special, the beans are the best (and always changing, depending on supply), and the workers know what they’re doing. I tried a drip coffee (La Guachoca, from El Salvador, strong with caramel and cacao notes) from their metal filter, as well as an Americano (San Rafael, from Guatemala, more fruity). Afterward, I sent a Seattle friend who’s a finicky coffee drinker, and he’s already addicted, now ordering Coava’s beans by mail. Many people say this is the best coffee in Portland, and their awards just might prove it.
One final meal to discuss: dinner at St. Jack. This corner restaurant is extremely cozy, especially the two-top in the front window. (It was a little weird to watch the workers sit on the sidewalk smoking toward the end of the night.) It’s another Portland restaurant serving solid food, from a perfectly cooked mackerel salad starter to fried tripe with caper and red onion mayonnaise to a very rich and delicious fisherman’s stew (the trout roe in the stew completes the dish). Best of the night, though, was the Lyonnaise onion tart, with caramelized onions, leeks, and goat cheese—topped with a poached egg. The sweetness of those caramelized onions could have almost qualified this as dessert, but since the restaurant is a patisserie by day, I saved space for a fun coconut gateau with meyer lemon curd, coconut, tarragon sorbet, and blood orange supremes.
Rest at the Hilton Portland & Executive Tower
I’m endlessly asked to recommend the best sushi restaurant in Seattle. Along with Sushi Kappo Tamura (
Dish: “Salted fish w/chicken in vermicelli & rice sticker”
What I miss from New York: choices of subway lines, reliably aggressive driving, and attitude. Food-wise, I miss pizza, bagels, and bialys. And good delis. Oh, we have some amazing sandwich shops in Seattle, like Paseo and Salumi. But I’d gladly trade a few of our fabulous Vietnamese delis doing cheap and delicious banh mi sandwiches for a few New York-style corner delis.
Dish: Cheng Du Dan Dan Noodle
Koral Bar & Kitchen in Bellevue calls itself a “New American Kitchen,” serving regional American cuisine–comfort food favorites and a few upscale dishes–in an atmosphere more casual than sister restaurant Pearl. After trying pan-fried trout, roasted beets with arugula, tuna crudo, Penn Cove mussels, roasted marrow bones, and Koral’s nod to Tai Tung pot stickers, my dining companion and I felt sufficiently stuffed.
Dish: Gourmet Chow Mein (Lo Mein)
