It’s also a restaurant where workers take pride in their pizza-making. The Caputo flour, silk to the touch, is imported from Italy. Pies are carefully handcrafted, dispatched to the wood-burning oven, and then pulled after quick-cooking.

There are many varieties on the menu. Recently, I sampled the Queen Margherita, simple yet elegant with its buffalo mozzarella, San Marzano tomato sauce, fresh basil, and extra-virgin olive oil. The Puttanesca pleased me with its briny and spicy flavors from capers, olives, and chili flakes. There’s even a dessert Pizza di Nutella with a little salt spiking the chocolate hazelnut spread. Most intriguing, though, was the Dattero, delicious with its dates, gorgonzola, prosciutto crudo, fresh mozzarella, and a drizzle of balsamic reduction.

So what does Queen Margherita’s dattero pizza teach us about sex?

It’s all about finding the delight of dates.

Maybe you’ve had your share of bacon-wrapped dates, but never dates on a pizza. Traditionalists and others may dread the thought, but if you have an open mind, you just might enjoy the dates’ contribution to the overall sweetness, saltiness, and richness of each slice you try.

Sexually speaking, many singles look at dates with dread. Questions like “What will we do?” and “What will we say?” and “How will the date end?” naturally run through the mind when dating. I suggest having an open mind and simply look forward to the potential fun of dating. Three simple steps:

1. Enjoy the time.

On dates, do what you love, and avoid what you don’t love. Of course, be open to new adventures (maybe a chance to check something off your bucket list?), but if you absolutely detest salsa dancing or sailboarding, why do it on a date? Your companion will surely detect your negative energy. But if you both love wine-tasting or walking, go, and you’ll be in your element. Even if you don’t find your love interest, hopefully you’ll still have fun.

2. Enjoy the person.

Don’t be judgmental; don’t judge a book by its cover. Sure, first impressions count, but go deeper by asking good questions and getting to know your date’s personality and passions. You might find friendship…or even more.

3. Enjoy the process.

It’s just a date. Loosen up and laugh. If you’re preoccupied about how the date will end and whether there will be another date, you’re living in the future instead of enjoying the present. Dating’s like sex: Sometimes we’re too goal-oriented. Men, especially, are often easily aroused and socialized to run the bases, seeing how far we can get. Once we get to home plate, we forget the ecstasy of the steps along the way–for example, of being “stranded” at first base with endless sessions of kissing, wondering when we’ll get to second, but enjoying every minute of it.

Keep expectations in check. You never know when they’ll be surpassed!

Queen Margherita exceeded my expectations, and might just be a good place to have a first date. It’s a friendly restaurant, and pizza’s pretty cheap as a first “investment.” Sit at the counter and watch the magic of pizza-making. Banter with the pizza chef (see how your date interacts with others, and not just you), who might even give you a feel of the flour, sensual for playing. See how well you negotiate your pizza order, including preference for toppings (and the connection to sex play). And, hey, it’s Italian food–coupled with a nice red wine, you’ve got the ingredients for a romantic date.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on January 5, 2012.

And here’s more, published at TheSunbreak.com as my first of a month-long Pizza Parlor Friday Holler:

National Pizza Month may officially be in October, but with professional football playoffs about to begin, I’m moving it to January. [ETA: Actually, I just learned that the second full week of January is National Pizza Week. How convenient!]

I’ve tackled Queen Anne area burgers before, and now it’s time to search for some pizza within easy reach of the hill. I’ll feature one place each Friday of the month, looking for a little variety.

Eating excursions rarely take me west of Queen Anne, but when I heard good things about Queen Margherita in Magnolia, I had to give it a try. Margherita of Savoy served as Italy’s queen from 1878 to 1900, and legend has it that the Margherita pizza–made with red tomatoes, green basil, and white cheese (in honor of the Italian flag)–was named after her in 1889. Since fall 2010, she’s had this hidden gem named after her as well.

Queen Margherita is the type of neighborhood restaurant where it seems everybody knows your name. Visit more than once, and I’m sure owner Corino Bonjrada will take notice of you. When he’s not working the dining area and helping with service, he’s watching with pride as Devin Dukes prepares pizzas. These Neopolitan-style pies are made with Caputo Tipo 00 flour (silky smooth) from Italy, with the dough aged several days to ferment and develop the gluten. The pies go into a wood-fired oven (made in Naples) that reaches temperatures up to 1200 degrees, spending just 45 to 80 seconds to cook.

The pizzas are delicious. Neapolitan style means they are a slightly soft in the middle, with crisp crusts that have nice air bubbles. There are many pizza options on the menu, from the namesake Queen Margherita (great with Buffalo mozzarella) to the Puttanesca (briny and spicy) to the intriguing Dattero (with dates, gorgonzola, prosciutto crudo, fresh mozzarella, and a drizzle of balsamic reduction). As Bonjrada told me, pizza is “the most amazing and yet simple thing.”

Here’s a photo gallery of shots of the pizza–including a special dessert pizza–along with some side dishes and a glimpse of the pizza-making:

Hopefully the crowds continue to come, as Hanna Raskin this week reminded us that good restaurants like Il Corvo can close if no one supports them. I went last week, Il Corvo’s last open date for 2011, and my partner and I enjoyed three types of pasta: sagnarelli alla Bolognese (our favorite), linguini alla carbonara (pictured, and note that Naomi Bishop included the recipe along with an interview in her two-part Grillaxin feature on chef Mike Easton and his restaurant), and gnocchi with brown butter, pine nuts, golden raisins, and rosemary.

So what does Il Corvo’s pasta teach us about sex?

It’s all about finding the proper fit for pleasure.

Go to Il Corvo and you’ll see three pasta choices on the menu. (You can also check the blog each morning for the list.) They change daily. And you may not recognize the names. For example, I didn’t know that sagnarelli is a short, flat, ribbon-like noodle about two inches in length that’s generally fluted on all sides.

It’s amazing how many varieties exist, a reminder that pasta is more than just spaghetti (or SpaghettiOs.)

Pasta can be short or long. Slender or wide. Thin or thick. Plain, or colored and flavored. And it’s not just the size that changes, but the shape as well. How fun to have a variety of textures and tastes.

It’s the same with condoms.

Shopping for condoms, like pasta, is shopping for the best fit, for in addition to protection, you want pleasure. You have to give them a try to see what type you like best. For example, some want something subtle, while others want to glow in the dark. Some seek a snug fit, while others don’t want to be so constrained. (This reminds me of the old joke that you could never sell condoms sized small, medium, and large, as no one would want the small. Instead, it’s better to market them as large, extra-large, and jumbo.)

To take the pasta analogy further, think of all of Il Corvo’s delicious and creative sauces as the lubricants. Oh, boy. The possibilities are endless.

And while many of the pastas are smooth, Easton occasionally offers one that isn’t. I’m watching for a rigate, like penne or rigatoni, as that will be ribbed–for her pleasure, of course.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on December 29, 2011.

Now I’m in Capitol Hill at Altura, where Nathan Lockwood serves up seasonal Italian cuisine in the form of multi-course tasting menus. I happily leave myself to the mercy of this cooking maestro.

I enjoy an extravagant feast, including a chance to share all five pasta offerings with my dining partner. Each one is fantastic, boasting unique flavors. With a mission to incorporate locally foraged and grown ingredients, including some from his own garden, Lockwood impresses me with an assortment of herbs and peppers–some spicy–in many of his dishes. Most surprising to this non-gnocchi fan: My favorite dish of the night is the potato pasta, texture simply terrific, topped with a rich Abruzzese ragu of lamb and beef.

Perhaps most intriguing is the tagliatelle. This ribbon-like pasta is served with fried garlic and fried parsley, lubricated with olive oil, and then showered with cured tuna heart shavings. The flavor of the heart is dark and mineral-rich, like the ocean splashing itself on the dish sparingly and yet assertively.

So what does Altura’s tagliatelle teach us about sex?

It’s all about picking up the pieces of a broken heart.

Lockwood hits the tagliatelle with tuna heart just before sending it out to the diner, the shavings dropping from a Microplane grater like tears falling from the eyes of a teen suffering a first break-up.

How do you mend a broken heart? It should start with tears, as it’s okay to be sad. Mourn, but also breathe and be confident knowing you’ll eventually get through the sadness. Reach out to family and friends, find distractions, and take care of yourself. Exercise. Rediscover things you like to do, and discover new things as well.

Don’t blame yourself for failure. And don’t feel compelled to find a replacement for the person who’s gone. Learn the difference between being alone and being lonely.

Seek counseling if you need it, and socialize as you find yourself ready. Be yourself, find yourself, treat yourself, and allow yourself to…live again.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on October 27, 2011.

More photos from the meal:

Amuse bouche: tomato water

Starters: golden jubilee tomato soup (with cherry tomatoes, Genovese basil, and Ligurian olive oil), grilled baby octopus (with butter bean puree, lemon cucumber, and torn mint), and cold smoked kampachi crudo (with shaved celery, preserved lemon, and Beldi oil)

Larger photo of the tagliatelle with fried garlic, fried parsley, and cured tuna heart

Pecorino ravioli with sungold tomato, Calabrian chili, and wilted arugula

Yukon gold potato gnocchi with Abruzzese style ragu of lamb and Whidbey Island beef

Agnolotti with squab and pheasant, black truffle, and sage

Pappardelle with spot prawns, Dungeness crab, tarragon, and lime

Pacific weathervane scallops with fried shelling beans, bitter garden greens, and porcini

Mad Hatcher chicken with farro, roasted grapes, wilted arugula, and fried pine nuts

Columbia River steelhead salmon (including smoked belly) with Maltby corn, fava beans, and Dungeness crab

Cheese plate

Bourbon caramel semifreddo with hazelnut praline, chocolate fondue, and vanilla tuile

For the debut of Passport to Pleasure, I start in my own neighborhood: Upper Queen Anne. What’s the appeal of this area? It’s the highest part of the city, with romantic walks offering turns that reveal stunning views of water and mountains.

PASSIONATE FOR PASTRIES

Your first stop should be Café de Lion on Queen Anne Avenue. Daisuke and Tomoyo Miura named it after their now 4-year-old son (whose name you pronounce like “Leon”). There are just a few tables in this cozy cafe, but what you want are two seats at the counter in front of Daisuke. His coffee station looks like a chemistry lab, and Daisuke delights in playing mad scientist, pairing a cup to your choice of cake. (By the way, the water-dripped iced coffee is the best I’ve ever had.)

Tomoyo occasionally emerges from the kitchen with a small platter of pastries to stock the front showcase. Healthy and seasonal, these French-style sweets (though not too sweet, which is part of the Japanese influence) are made with care and fine ingredients—like sugar that’s a mix of Okinawan black sugar and sugar cane. Look for green tea “rare” cheesecake, molten chocolate cake with red wine fig wine compote, colorful berry tarts, and the like. The staff posts the ever-changing selections to Facebook each morning; since they can be reserved, they sometimes sell out quickly. (Café de Lion has a strong Japanese following, drawing customers from Seattle and the Eastside.) Daisuke describes the café as a boutique, calling the desserts “limited editions.”

To get a jump on your Queen Anne adventure, come to the café early for the “croque” sandwiches. And with urban hiking ahead of you, why not get something to go? You’ll find bags of golden madeleines, a rainbow array of macarons (the matcha macarons are especially delicious), fruit phyllos, and cute jars of homemade jams that you can spread on bread for your picnic.

STROLLING THE STAIRS

Carbo-loaded, you’re ready for an afternoon of walking. In Queen Anne, that’s likely to mean some stair-climbing, as there are more than 100 stairs in the neighborhood. Stop in at Queen Anne Books, just two blocks north of Café de Lion, to pick up the “Map of the (oft) Pedestrian Public Stairs of Queen Anne Hill.” Thomas Horton authored this helpful resource with help from the Queen Anne Historical Society, which sells the map online. (Or visit the Queen Anne Stairs website for maps, tours, historical information, and more.)

A suggested route: From the bookstore or Café de Lion, cross Queen Anne Avenue and continue to 1^st Avenue North, making a right and walking southbound until the street becomes more like an alley (at Galer). Continue to the cul-de-sac (past Lee), then walk the path and you’ll reach the Comstock Grande Dame. Perhaps the highest point of any public stair in Seattle, it was built in 1905 and has 85 steps. The shape makes it unique—and romantic. According to Horton, “(w)ith its sinuous turns (twisty, serpentine) and the great canopy of trees above it, the Comstock Grande Dame is a great place to steal a kiss.”

The stair drops you back on Queen Anne Avenue. From here, walk one block south. Cross the street and walk west on Highland, where you’ll see Kerry Park and then the magnificent mansions. Approaching 7^th Avenue West, peek into Parsons Garden. You might witness a wedding or an informal croquet match, or you might get lucky and have the place to yourself. Floral and peaceful, this is a perfect place to picnic, or to simply relax together on the grass.

When ready, stroll across the street to the Betty Bowen Viewpoint. Here you’ll enjoy a spectacular southwestern view of Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains, as well as some interesting art installations. Beyond the Betty Bowen sign is the Wilcox (retaining) Wall with its built-in stair, well worth exploring, but from the view area try walking one block south to the stair at 7^th Avenue West and West Prospect. A shorter stair with just 33 steps, it was built in 1918 and features a resting bench at the top landing. The house along the stair, atypical in not facing a street, is quite intriguing. From here, with map or not, meander the neighborhood at your leisure.

MOUTH IS ALIVE WITH JUICES LIKE WINE

Appetite restored, make your way back to Queen Anne Ave for dinner at How to Cook a Wolf. Named after the M.F.K. Fisher classic, this quaint Ethan Stowell joint is popular, so go early to indulge in quieter moments, and to enjoy the energy as the space fills.

If you don’t get in right away, two doors down is Queen Anne Dispatch, which offers double the chance for romance. Here you can send your partner a pre-prepared love letter. (After all, wouldn’t it be a great surprise to receive one via old-fashioned, regular mail?) As a bonus, the store is informally known as Undies and Outies, and you can communicate your love with a purchase of lingerie, massage oil, and even paintable chocolate.

Wolf will call when your seats are ready. You might get the back table (actually designed for four), which offers the most seclusion. Counter seating is a great option, as you can banter with the bartender and your neighboring diners. Summer means warm weather, with tables spilling out onto the sidewalk, and romantic dining al fresco.

Chef Matt Fortner occasionally makes an appearance to deliver a dish, but is otherwise tucked away in the tiny kitchen, visible when you first enter the restaurant. This is a place where you’ll share Italian-inspired plates both large and small. Preparations are rustic with a focus on fresh ingredients, so items jump on and off the menu. Fortner blisters Padron peppers (said to be an aphrodisiac) in olive oil and sprinkles them will sea salt, perhaps spicing up your sex life in the process. Morel mushrooms (with cauliflower and brown butter) add earthiness to a pair of sweet, succulent scallops. And pastas at Wolf are perfect; a plate of ribbony tagliarini with geoduck and basil pesto exemplifies what you can expect.

SEDUCTIVE SUNSET IN SEATTLE

Time your evening right and you’ll be leaving close to sunset, which means returning to Highland Avenue. You can saunter back to Betty Bowen again and, with luck, land seats on one of the benches to snuggle up and take in the pink skies over the water and mountains. But if you don’t mind small crowds, go to Kerry Park for the quintessential view of Seattle. If it’s clear, you’ll see the city and the Space Needle with Mount Rainier hovering in the background. As the sun sets, its rays brighten up the Seattle skyline one last time, and then you can enjoy the city lights that emerge with nightfall. It’s a perfect ending to a perfect day in Queen Anne, and a reminder of Seattle’s romantic potential.

But what most intrigued this sex educator was the “Shards of Love” dessert, which The Pink Door describes as “delicate tuile cookies, chaotically stuck in a limoncello scented ricotta cream.” For a fine dining restaurant, this dessert was kind of funny, like a kitchen mistake turned menu item. But in this burlesque-esque restaurant found through an actual pink door on Post Alley, I enjoyed eating what tasted like fortune cookies in lemon sauce–but better.

So what does The Pink Door’s Shards of Love dessert teach us about sex?

It’s all about picking up the pieces–carefully, and with reverence.

The tuile cookies are literally shards from a bigger sheet, and true to the description, they are chaotically stuck in the cream. Given the name of the dish, I’m reminded of shattered relationships.

When I worked in high schools (and junior high schools), one of the most commonly asked questions in my sex ed seminars was “How do I know if I’m really in love?” Students are so focused on how to get in relationships and how to improve them. Unfortunately, we don’t provide enough education on how to get out of bad relationships. Girls tend to cope better with breaking up than boys. They cry and consult with their girlfriends, whereas guys punch walls and puke after drinking their woes away. But they don’t really go away, instead sticking inside. Many a guidance counselor would tell me that guys were more likely to consider committing suicide after break-ups than girls.

I believe this often shapes guys’ future relationships. Males may be commitment-phobic because they don’t want to get stung again, having to deal with the emotions of a bad break-up.

And I ain’t just talking young people here. (And, yes, I’m gender stereotyping a bit.)

I think it’s helpful at the end of a relationship to remember what you once liked about it. Sure, it feels like your life’s in pieces, but at some point you need to pick up those pieces. Isn’t it better to remember the good times? To cherish them? To grow from what you experienced?

Like The Pink Door’s dessert, pick up those shards carefully, scooping up as much sweetness as you can. You’ll look back with fondness instead of bitterness, and probably be a better person for the next one you meet.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on May 12, 2011.

The latest version I had at Smith’s Cafe Juanita was Barbera risotto with Asiago, featuring a fabulous brodo and red wine syrup–and showcasing stringy Asiago DOP (Denominazione di origine protetta, or Protected Designation of Origin, which, according to promotional documents, certifies the authenticity of the cheese as a result of its unique production zone and detailed manufacturing procedure) mixed in with butter. The result is creamy and sensual and simply luxurious.

So what does Cafe Juanita’s Barbera risotto with Asiago teach us about sex?

It’s all about the bath.

Truly, there are many times I take to a dish so much that I simply want to jump into it. Such was the case with this risotto. I polished off the whole big bowl. I may have actually licked the bowl. I certainly wanted to bathe in that risotto bowl.

Bathing can be both a relaxing and erotic experience, and is one that surely should be brought into your lovemaking. As a Westerner, I was always one to take a morning shower, but now I’ve come to appreciate that a bath or shower is a wonderful way to unwind. Besides, isn’t it nice to be clean when you slip beneath the sheets?

And if you’re with your partner, why not play in the water? Wash each other’s hair. Scrub each other’s backs. And certainly don’t forget about each other’s fronts.

I was remembering that risotto when I was at a Good Vibrations store in San Francisco last weekend. There, I saw the I Rub My Duckie Junior Vibe–perfect for solo play in the bathtub. Or how about the Shower Power Bathtub Handle, which you’ll want when you’re enjoying a soaking session of stand-up sex with your partner. You can even bring the bathroom to your bedroom if you buy the Aqua Erotic DVD. This adult video is a heterosexual “couples” feature with water themes and a focus on female pleasure, which some will find refreshing.

Or, you can double your pleasure by seeing if you can pick up some of Smith’s risotto to go, and enjoying it in your bathtub.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on March 17, 2011.

White linens, white jackets, and an old world feel–even at lunch–put me in the mood for something special. My eyes peruse the menu and soon settle on Ravioli Di Capriolo. How can I not try what promises to be an earthy delight? There’s venison (with a little spinach) inside the pasta and a wild mushroom demi-glace outside it. Umami-blasted by parmesan cheese, the dish is rich and satisfying.

So what does Il Terrazzo Carmine’s Ravioli Di Capriolo teach us about sex?

Game is good.

Venison is one form of game, which can include buffalo, moose, rabbit, and even birds like squab and wild geese. Part of what made this meal special was that venison brought variety to the usual cheese, beef, or spinach ravioli.

Sex can also benefit from game variety. I’ve said it before and will certainly say it more in the future: It’s so easy to get stuck in routines. Same time of day. Same place. Same position. Same old same old.

So why not play some games to spice up your sex life? Some classics include strip poker, Twister, and truth-or-dare. You can also exchange love coupons, make wish lists, play with body paints, or do role-playing. And if you’re lucky enough to travel to Europe, you might even come across We Dare.

As Il Terrazzo Carmine demonstrates, it’s good to have game.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on March 3, 2011.

The restaurant’s faithful have been coming for it since 1990, while others are just discovering it–most recently on Monday night when Chef/Owner Jordi Viladas offered a lasagna cooking class. (Cafe Lago is serving up free classes to celebrate its 20th anniversary, so call for more information and to reserve, as they’re popular and fill quickly.)

At $19.95 per portion, an order of lasagna is an investment, albeit a good one. It’s soufflé-like, the ricotta nice and fluffy, the pasta sheets as delicate as silk scarves, and the whole work simply delicious.

So what does Cafe Lago’s lasagna teach us about sex?

Watching Viladas make lasagna is like watching a porn star in a live film shoot.

The first thing he told the students was that the subtitle of the class should be “Don’t try this at home.” It takes practice. The guy’s got years of experience. So we could watch and learn, perhaps picking up some pointers, but we shouldn’t feel bad if we don’t ever reach his level of expertise.

As anyone who’s watched a porn flick get made can tell you, it’s time-consuming. The process simply takes time. There’s a lot of repetition and repositioning.

Luckily, Viladas had most of his accessories ready, so let’s jump right into the pasta-making. After loving on the dough with a good amount of kneading and massaging, with constant appreciation of its texture, he let it sit in anticipation for a few minutes. (Think of it as the opposite of fluffing.) Then positioning the pasta maker just right, he went for his first insertion, calming assuring us that “the hardest part is getting it in.”

But Vilada’s a pro, so insertion was easy. And continued to be as he pulled it out and put it back in, guiding it in with one hand, and keeping tension on the opposite end with the other.

There were many more steps, with tips and techniques to observe, over the course of the session. For example, alternating heat and cold, and toweling off. You’ll simply have to wait for the video to learn more about that.

Excitement built as Viladas reached the final act. Layer, then lubricate (alternating with special sauces of marinara and béchamel, and of course ricotta filling). Layer, then lubricate. Layer, then lubricate. Exciting at first, but again, as any live porn viewer can testify, the repetition can get mechanical, and indeed boring–and that’s not the fault of the actor. Just the way it is.

It was easy to lose track of the layers and lubricants, but finally the lasagna came to a climactic finish. A site to behold, and well worth the wait. Viladas smiled. “Try it at home…if you dare.”

Big news: Sexy Feast comes to life, as three area restaurants will be hosting real-time Sexy Feast dinners over the next few weeks. Picture a winemaker dinner, but instead of a winemaker describing the wines, Jay Friedman will explain the sexual lessons learned from each dish in your multi-course meal. This will be a stimulating way to talk about romance and relationships! The first Sexy Feast happens to be at Cafe Lago on 1/23, followed by a Valentines dinner at Willows Inn (just named by The New York Times as one of the 10 restaurants in the world worth a plane ride) on 2/12, and then a final one at 5 Corner Market on 2/27. Check the Facebook page for more information, including ticketing.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on January 13, 2011.

Next up was the famed polenta (fontina-filled) with wild mushrooms. Creamy and delicious!

Time for pasta, and our choice was the shrimp and lobster pommodoro with strichette pasta (squid ink and saffron).

And for a meat course, it was the wild boar with gorgonzola sauce. While desserts looked good, the gorgonzola sauce sufficed for a fulfilling ending this particular evening…

Ogasawara came out strong, winning points with a poke-like preparation served up in a martini glass, which included salmon roe and crispy salmon skin in addition to the raw salmon pieces. I also gave him a slight edge for the second course, but then Hahne served up the best dish of the night for the final course: squid ink pasta with cured salmon as part of a squadron of seafood, including Kumamoto oyster, ahi, and scallop.

Based on points, the judges rated this battle close to a draw, though if the courses were rounds and we judged as in boxing, Ogasawara might have had a slight edge. This seemed to be the prevailing sentiment, as the overall verdict showed Ogasawara edging out Hahne by the slimmest of margins, earning him bragging rights for supremacy on 45th Street. At least for the night. I understand that this was just the first Battle in Seattle–with more to follow.