Sexy Feast: POP Kitchen + Bar Chips in with Condom Tips

pop-chips-600-9566Collections Café and the Armory food court (where you’ll find Skillet‘s latest incarnation) are two of the newer food venues at the Seattle Center, but let’s not forget about POP Kitchen + Bar at the Experience Music Project. Connected to Wolfgang Puck Catering, this museum café (no museum admission required) serves up a fairly safe menu of sandwiches, salads, and assorted snacks.

Sandwiches come with a side of house-made chips, but during happy hour, you can get a special order of those Ranch Chips accompanied by basil aioli. POP makes the chips each morning from russet potatoes that are cut on the slightly thick side. The richness of the golden brown color are an early tip-off that they’re cooked just a little more than I like, though the crunchiness of the chip is quite pleasing. The ranch flavor is mild, with the vegetal nature of basil aioli providing a nice option for occasional dipping.

So what do POP Kitchen + Bar’s chips teach us about sex?

It’s all about personal preference when pursuing pleasure with protection.

Chips come in all different sizes, shapes, textures, and flavors. The same with condoms. But while sex educators like me spend lifetimes talking about using condoms, we must also teach that there are all types of condoms to make safe sex fun if we want people to actually use those condoms.

So let’s look at the variations in condoms.

They come in different sizes, just like the penises that go in them. The old joke is that if you label condoms as small, medium, and large, few men will feel comfortable buying the smallest size. More clever marketing would be large, extra-large, and jumbo.

Staying with size, condoms can be thin or thick. Some people prefer thicker condoms as assurance that they won’t break. But rest assured that all condoms available on the market are FDA-approved.

Like chips, condoms come in different shapes. Some have reservoir tips, while others have plain tips. Contours can vary. Some are straight, whereas others are tapered for a snugger fit.

Textures also offer terrific variation. Just as Ruffles have ridges, remember Trojan’s “ribbed for her pleasure”? With condoms, you can find all kinds of ribs, studs, and dots. Whether they work is another story.

Of course there are flavors–and the kaleidoscopic colors that come with those flavors. Just as potato chips come in flavors like sour cream & onion, barbecue, and salt & vinegar (not to mention international flavors like wasabi, masala, dill pickle, and roast chicken), condoms can be fancied up in flavors such as strawberry, vanilla, and banana.

Also: just as dip can enhance chips, a little lube will bring more pleasure to condoms. Lots of choices here, as long as you look for water-based only. And while POP provides pleasure with those potato chips, you’ll want lubrication to prevent a dreaded “pop” when using condoms. Though sexually speaking, if you’re lucky enough to be a multi-orgasmic guy, then as with Pringles, “Once you pop you just can’t stop.”

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on August 2, 2012.



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