By coincidence, the Voracious crew has been bestowing a lot of praise on LloydMartin in Queen Anne. Yes, we’ve touted its social hour, Bolognese sauce, and feel as a first-rate first-date restaurant. And we just documented chef Sam Crannell’s love of antique plateware.
The plateware is particularly interesting because some of it is rather feminine, but used to send out some traditionally masculine, meat-centric dishes. For example, when I last went in, Crannell was cooking meatball sliders, roast duck leg, bison Bolognese, and pork roast. The food is fantastic, which is why LloydMartin is worthy of all its recent accolades. I especially enjoyed the Garlic Pork Sausage, served with corn, fingerling, bacon, arugula, and mole.
So what does LloydMartin’s garlic pork sausage teach us about sex?
It’s all about the fingering.
Yes, I misread the menu when I first saw it. I’ve been doing that a lot lately when I see “fingerling.” Maybe it’s because I have “vagina” on my mind?
Recall that last week, two Michigan state representatives were banned from floor speech after comments they made condemning anti-abortion legislation. One, Lisa Brown, had emphatically stated, “I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no'”–stirring up national attention on the debate.
Republican Representative Mike Callton said that Brown’s comment “was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.” Interesting, though, is that the word “vagina” appeared three times in the bill being debated–and that many Republicans have little difficulty saying “transvaginal ultrasound.”
I like the ACLU of Michigan’s response that if you can’t say the word “vagina,” you shouldn’t legislate about it. Further, I believe that if women want to make a powerful political statement, they should deny men access to vaginas for some significant period of time. I bet these men will then see how misguided they are.
Just as many men are misguided about fingering.
Unless you’re perfecting the “come hither” motion that lends itself to G-Spot stimulation, most women prefer stimulation of the clitoris instead of the vagina. Fingering can also refer to stimulation of the anus, an activity that both genders can enjoy and find arousing.
And given the close proximity of LloydMartin’s fingerlings to that garlic pork sausage, I should add that there’s lesser-known talk of fingering the penis. This doesn’t mean around the man-sausage, but into it. Which proves, once again, that the menu of sexual pleasure is wide and varied. Just be informed and choose wisely.
First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on June 21, 2012.