Sexy Feast: Spatulas at Koral Stir Up a Sexual Frenzy

koral_mousse_640_914Koral Bar & Kitchen in Bellevue calls itself a “New American Kitchen,” serving regional American cuisine–comfort food favorites and a few upscale dishes–in an atmosphere more casual than sister restaurant Pearl. After trying pan-fried trout, roasted beets with arugula, tuna crudo, Penn Cove mussels, roasted marrow bones, and Koral’s nod to Tai Tung pot stickers, my dining companion and I felt sufficiently stuffed.

Still, the server talked us into dessert, and given the menu items, we thought the “chocolate mousse for two” would be a light choice. Imagine our surprise to receive a mixing bowl containing a rather thick chocolate “batter” alongside fresh whipped cream. And two brightly colored spatulas awaiting action. What a whimsical way to serve something at a restaurant!

So what does Koral’s chocolate mousse for two teach us about sex?

It’s all about different ways to say “I love you.”

Seeing those spatulas reminded me of UHF, the 1989 film written by and starring Weird Al Yankovic. Perhaps you remember the ad for the Spatula City store. It’s a “giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion.” One of those occasions: A romantic dinner, a man courting a woman, and the narrator asking, “What better way to say ‘I love you’ than with a gift of a spatula?”

I’m not necessarily endorsing spatulas themselves as gifts of love. But at Koral, they’re certainly a tool for expressing love, both emotional and physical.

If you order that chocolate mousse dessert, the two of you will have to negotiate your needs and desires when using those spatulas. And that’s all about emoting and communicating. Don’t just dive into the bowl, using the spatula to spread and stir as you alone please. Talk with your partner about what you both like. While one of you might want an integrated mixture of chocolate and cream, the other might want to enjoy the unique tastes of each individually. And those desires, for the two of you, might change over time. Discuss I always say that love is verbal as well as physical.

Meanwhile, the sight of those spatulas might stir up physical desires as well. If you recall the Sexy Feast column about Katsu Burger, it was all about spanking. I wrote about hand-spanking as entry-level, and then the use of objects like paddles, riding crops, and whips for the more experienced. Well… what’s a spatula if not a light spanking tool? As part of the verbal negotiation about your sex life, you’ll want to discuss things like the type of sex you want to engage in, as well as when and where you want to do it. Since spatulas scream kitchen, you might feel inspired for a change of venue, with meal time a perfect time to satisfy carnal cravings.

So, what’s love got to do with it? At Koral, that chocolate might be the aphrodisiac, but the spatulas are the tools to take your relationship to a higher, more pleasurable level.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 12, 2012.

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