Sexy Feast: Macrina Bakery Stuffs You Silly (and Happy)

macrina_scone_640_4307Sexy Feast is going small treats and big feats for the rest of the month. Watch for a series of little sweets and even some savories, starting today with a visit to Macrina Bakery in Queen Anne.

I love bakeries, as the shelves and showcases serve as the menu. Macrina bakes some fabulous bread, but I was in the mood for some cake or pastry. From a Sexy Feast perspective, there were all kinds of possibilities: Morning Glory muffins, Rocket muffins, Roly-Poly (Macrina’s spin on a cinnamon roll), or a poundcake. But then something savory caught my eye: plates of scones–specifically the dill scones. These pastries have fresh dill and some scallions on the inside, and little crusties of baked parmesan on top. Any sane person would yearn to have this inside him or her.

So what does Macrina Bakery’s dill scone teach us about sex?

It’s all about the inner joy that dill dough brings.

(Okay, cheesy, I know…which reminds me that Macrina also does a dill scone with cream cheese.)

I’m not sure there’s any definitive etymology about dildos, but it’s clear that these penis-shaped and penis-sized sexual devices have quite a history, probably going back to the Paleolithic era. After all, people have long enjoyed sex, and stone objects offer inevitable temptations.

Early dildos were crafted in stone, wood, and other natural materials before being made of rubber during the mid-twentieth century. Initially reinforced with steel, they eventually became filled with PVC to prevent injury from cracking. Today, silicone is in style, as this rubber-like compound holds heat well and is easy to clean. Some people also like steel and glass models, while new cyberskin dildos take on a most realistic appearance.

Dildos know no gender boundaries, as users enjoy them for both vaginal and anal penetration, as well as fetish play. Many think of the dildo as exclusively a woman’s toy, but anal penetration of a man by a woman wearing a strap-on dildo, an act known as “pegging,” is increasingly popular. In fact, for some time, workers at San Francisco-based adult toy store Good Vibrations told me that Bend Over Boyfriend was a best-selling video.

And if designer dildos are a budget-buster, look back to food for fun. Zucchini, bananas, cucumbers, and eggplants serve the same purpose, and make grocery shopping that much more exciting. Just think of the endless hours of thrills as you speculate about shoppers you see in your favorite store’s produce aisle. As for Macrina Bakery’s scone, even if you can find one that’s the right shape, it’ll probably crack and will lack a flared end, so let’s not go there–but you can certainly enjoy the sensual pleasure of stuffing one inside your mouth.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on March 8, 2012.

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  1. Sexy Feast: La Rêve’s Croissants and the Ooh La La of Sexual Cravings - March 30, 2012

    [...] sexy small treats, which has turned out to be quite international. Recall that Sexy Feast sampled dill scones from Macrina Bakery, sponge cake from Dim Sum King, and sakura mochi from Umai Do. Now I turn to a classic treat: the [...]

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