The Rock Serves Up Pizza and (Self) Pleasure

therock_meaty_640_3667It’s been quite a pizza run. Two weeks ago, Sexy Feast took me to Queen Margherita in Magnolia for thin-crust, Neapolitan-style pizza. Last week, in celebration of National Pizza Week, I went to Kylie’s Chicago Pizza in Fremont for a little deep dish action.

This week, I visited the new Queen Anne location of The Rock, a chain that started in Tacoma and has seen successful growth in the region and beyond. If classic rock whets your appetite, this is the place to be, with musical art on the walls, concert lighting above, and Aerosmith to Zeppelin out of the speakers. The pizza playlist is also interesting, as many of the pies are named after song or album titles.

So many of the pizzas had potential for this week’s Sexy Feast column, from “Satisfaction” to “Bad to the Bone” to “Flirtin’ with Disaster.” My choice was Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy, a red sauce pizza that will ward away vegetarians with toppings of pepperoni, sweet sausage, peppered bacon, meatballs, ham, and extra mozzarella. This American-style pizza (between a thin and a thick crust) will satisfy any carnivorous craving.

So what does The Rock’s Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy pizza teach us about sex?

It’s all about the validation of masturbation.

Sit before your pizza and it’s just you and your meat–a completely carnal affair.

Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy is a compilation album of singles by The Who which came out in 1971. I became aware of the album during my “puberty years,” and naturally found the title intriguing and stimulating. After all, I was discovering the world of breasts at the time, and while certain things had questionable sexual connotations, I was absolutely sure that by meaty, beaty, big and bouncy, The Who was talking titties.

One of the album’s songs is “Pictures of Lily,” which some radio stations banned because of sexual content. It’s the story of a boy with insomnia. He complains about “sleepless nights,” so his Dad puts pictures of Lily on his wall. Those pictures, the son says, “made my life so wonderful…helped me sleep at night…helped me feel alright.”

Who guitarist and songwriter Pete Townshend explained in an interview that the song is “merely a ditty about masturbation and the importance of it to a young man.”

Masturbation is also important to a young woman. Or a not-so-young man or woman. We all deserve pleasure, and we all can benefit from the peaceful relaxation that comes in the aftermath of self-pleasuring. Like Woody Allen said, “Masturbation, don’t knock it: It’s sex with someone I love.”

And like the protagonist in “Pictures of Lily” says, “Now my nights are not quite so lonely.”

Because, as at The Rock, an orgy of meat doesn’t require other people to help you get some satisfaction.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on January 19, 2012.



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