Sexy Feast: Marination Station’s SPAM Slider Stirs the Loins and More

marination_spam_600I’m one of legions who have loved Marination Mobile long enough that it earned accolades as the country’s best food cart in a Good Morning America challenge. And now that Marination Station has planted itself in Capitol Hill, there’s no need to go chasing down the truck–though that’s still fun to do.

While nothing beats their kalbi tacos (three of those make a happy meal), the kimchi quesadillas got me cooking more creatively in my own kitchen, and the kimchi fried rice with egg (and maybe more kalbi) is a fine alternative.

Only recently did I do a SPAM slider for the first time. I had actually been holding out for some SPAM musubi, but that’s not always on the menu. So I finally settled for a slider, and quite liked it.

So what does Marination Station’s SPAM slider teach us about sex?

It’s all about porn star styling.

What is SPAM? It’s basically chopped pork shoulder, ham, salt, sugar, and a supposed secret spice mixture. Some people speculate that Hormel named this tinned, cooked meat as shorthand for “spiced ham.” Many scoff at the idea of SPAM, which is perhaps the original “mystery meat.”

But SPAM is like the not-so-attractive porn star, waiting to get dolled up. At Marination, she’s tanned with teriyaki glaze, laid gently into a sweet Hawaiian roll, decked out in sequins of slaw, and spritzed with spicy nunya sauce. Suddenly, this product of pork parts is a highly sought-after delicacy. Bacon turned pork belly. Jenna Jameson turned, well, Jenna Jameson. Have you seen the before and after shots?

After all, the allure of porn stars is often in the make-up, styling, airbrushing, and lighting–which is why blemish-revealing HD intimidates the industry. And note: I’m talking primarily about female porn stars. There’s a double-standard in the business, since men (have you seen Ron Jeremy?) don’t necessarily need to be attractive, as this College Humor piece points out. (Note that the NSFW video is a spoof, and I applaud Fleshbot for wanting to tell the world that women really do watch porn, too.)

Marination’s SPAM slider will make you look at porking in a whole new way–if your eyes are open, that is. Besides, given what passes as “food porn” (in which lighting, styling, and editing can make us crave most any hunk of meat), aren’t we realizing that it’s what’s inside that counts, and that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder–or the eater?

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on April 28, 2011.



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