Sexy Feast: Lubing Up at Blackboard Bistro

blackboard_bistro_500cIf you’ve been reading Sexy Feast since the column started a month ago, you know that I see sex and food as very much connected. Both bring great pleasure–good at the most basic level, great if you’re willing to invest more.

And you know I continually compare sex to a menu. We tend to have favorites, but it’s always nice to have a variety of choices, a chance to experiment and expand our horizons.

What happens, then, when the menu gets too long, and it’s hard, you know, to keep (it) up?

I admit it: I ran into this problem recently at Blackboard Bistro, the new restaurant in West Seattle that didn’t just offer me a menu, but a tasting menu that pushed me to the limit.

Oh, I’d been going at it for a while. There was a lot of variety in this session: tuna tartare with beets and ginger; salad of goat cheese, frisée, and chantrelles; sautéed scallop with truffled potato risotto and baby leeks; trout with fried green tomatoes; chicken pot pie; and a dessert still to come.

This is when Chef Jacob Wiegner sent out one last savory dish. On one side of the long plate: fried shallot rings. On the other side: a brisket slider with blue cheese. While the whole meal had been amazing, my mind, my mouth, and my body were tiring. I went in for a bite, but the slider was a little too much to take.

That’s when my eyes moved to the middle of the plate. The jus was the goo that, when applied to the slider, would be the lubricant for the wrapped meat, making it more palatable and pleasurable.

As we get older, it’s likely for sex to get drier, especially when wearing a condom. Lubricant to the rescue! I like to say that lubrication increases stimulation. We may learn to put a little on the outside of the condom, but a secret of success to making condoms work and feel better is to put the tiniest of drops on the inside tip of the condom–the part that catches the semen during ejaculation.

Just be sure to go for a lubricant that’s water-based. There are many on the market, so shop around for one you like. Fancy a flavored one? The mojito peppermint BabeLicious from Babeland is a favorite, and one that–like the jus at Blackboard Bistro–will help you move on to your sweet, happy ending.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on September 16, 2010.

(More coming soon on my meal at Blackboard Bistro. UPDATED: More on the full meal here.)

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