Sexy Feast: Banging Bing at Henry’s Taiwan

henrys_bing_500You’re together at last, just you and the Beef Bing you’ve ordered at Henry’s Taiwan (either the Bellevue or Seattle location). You’ve played the field, but perhaps you’ve never been with a Bing. It’s time to get acquainted. Laying (and, indeed, lying) before you, a Bing is like a Chinese flatbread, this one the size of a hockey puck; and while you sense that juicy, meaty goodness awaits you, you can’t help but wonder what the Bing will be like once you make that first physical contact.

You might want to jump right in, but it’s better to wait, anticipate, and savor the moment–this Bing’s so hot that it’s best to chill a bit. Eventually, the time feels right, but you’re understandably unsure. Just grab Bing with your hands? Or more tenderly tease with an extension of yourself, using chopsticks to gently grasp it? One thing’s for sure: You don’t want to go the violent route, cutting it open and causing it to “bleed.”

Now you’re holding Bing at last. At this point, I’d usually recommend a gentle approach, incorporating little nibbles. But you’ve been good, so you go for a well-deserved, full-on bite. Then, suddenly…Bing bursts with a liquid explosion, warm juice spraying everywhere. That’s okay: It happens. You bring Bing back to the plate before bending downward to enjoy another bite, perhaps licking or slurping the pool of juice to not waste it. And to truly taste it. (Ah, that’s onion and cilantro mixed with the ground beef!)

In the Sexy Feast, we’ll encounter many dishes that may be new to us–things we wish came with an owner’s manual. Just as I believe our bodies should come with owner’s manuals, especially when we operate them sexually. With another’s body, as with the Bing, do what’s comfortable and feels right–but always do it with respect. The interaction might be intimidating at first, but don’t be embarrassed. Laugh about it if you don’t get it right the first time. That’s part of the process.

Most of all, and I’ll say this often, communicate. Sexually, that should be with your partner. Bing-wise, ask Henry (or one of his helpers) how to handle the Bing. He’ll tell you what moves to make (such as “lubricating” it with black vinegar), and he’ll gladly introduce you to other potential objects of affection. (Bing is but one of many fabulous food items on a menu I appreciate for its low-cost, good quality Chinese food.) Best of all, Bing comes two to a plate, so you can share the experience with someone else, or go a second round if you have the stamina and desire.

First published in Seattle Weekly’s Voracious on August 12, 2010.

Henry's Taiwan on Urbanspoon

Henry's Taiwan on Urbanspoon



2 Responses to “Sexy Feast: Banging Bing at Henry’s Taiwan”

  1. September 25, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    Needless to say, I LOL’d when I read your entry, especially since my name IS Bing. I’m sold on going to Henry’s Taiwan when I go to Seattle in a few weeks, but my mind is totally NSFW at the moment. Thanks for the entry!

  2. Jay
    September 25, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

    Hysterical, Bing! Henry has a new restaurant just a few doors down, but the beef bing is at this place. Enjoy!

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