Sure, Sunday is Easter. But if you’ve ever been in Japan the first Sunday of April, then you might know that April 4 will be Kanamara Matsuri – the Festival of the Steel Phallus.
I’ve had the fortune of attending this festival, held at the Kanamara Shrine in Kawasaki, featuring penis carving contests (wood and vegetable carvings), penis-shaped lollipops, phallic see-saws, and a parade through town that includes drag queens carrying a massive pink penis. The event is actually steeped in tradition, dating back to the Edo period when prostitutes would pray for protection against disease. To this day, couples go to the shrine with hope of promoting fertility. The atmosphere is truly festive, and also marks an occasion to raise money for HIV research.
In honor of the event, Matsuri restaurant in New York served a one-night Penis Matsuri menu yesterday. Chef Tadashi Ono’s creations included:
- Get It Up Hot Pot ($23) – a traditional Japanese Hot Pot of oyster and sea urchin in dashi broth
- Big Sausage ($18) – with sea scallops and spicy cod roe
- Hard Banana Cream Pie ($9) – caramelized with chocolate ice cream
I was wondering why Seattle doesn’t do something to celebrate Sunday’s Kanamara Matsuri when I got this notice from Babeland about an Easter-themed treat they called the Vibrating Chocolate Bunny:
Good news ladies, you no longer have to choose between your two favorite passions: chocolate and sex. Just in time for Easter, Babeland introduces the first-ever Vibrating Chocolate Bunny–designed to satisfy both your cravings. Wrapped in smooth, seamless gold foil, the vibrator can be used as you would any Rabbit Vibrator to stimulate both the clitoris and the G-spot. But, when you’ve had your fill, simply remove the disposable motor, unwrap the toy, and voila: you’ve got your very own, very special chocolate Easter bunny. Once you’ve feasted on the delicious milk chocolate bunny, what’s left of the bunny (the foil wrapper and the motor) can be recycled, making this one very eco-friendly rabbit. Available for a limited time only. Buy now, $49.
I suspected it was an April Fools’ prank (the furnished link led to a day-long bonus deal), but as Babeland itself pointed out, I hope that maybe this fantasy can one day turn into a reality. Wouldn’t that help make future April Sundays (and, heck, all days) a phallic-filled festivus for the rest of us?